When I first started Keto on January 4, 2021, I wasn't sure what to really expect but I knew I had to do something to do better for myself! For years I have struggled with the yo-yo of my weight and I was finally at my breaking point. I started this journey at 240 lbs - the heaviest I have ever weighed and I could feel it in my body. My joints hurt every morning, my back screamed on a daily basis and I was out of breath just taking our three dogs outside. This wasn't the life I had envisioned for myself at the age of 39. I vowed to myself that this journey...this year...I would be the best version of myself - physically, mentally and emotionally. This was not going to be an easy task but I was determined to do it and prove to anyone who ever told me I couldn't do it, including myself, WRONG!
Back on Thanksgiving of 2020, I took my Thanksgiving selfie holding a mimosa and I looked at the picture completely disgusted with who was looking back at me.
I knew that I needed to change if I wanted to live a longer life and eventually become a Mom. I started to research the keto diet and came across the Ketologic website. There was something about this website, maybe it was Tim Tebow who used to be a sponsor/advocate of the company, or just the way it spoke to me, but I knew that this was the route I was going to go. On December 9th I purchased my first bundle pack and waiting eagerly for the package to ship.
As I waited, I knew that this was the time that I would need to prepare myself mentally for the lifestyle that I was going to live. I was lucky enough to have access to a coach through Ketologic. With previous diets that I had tried, I also had a "coach" but they weren't really a coach. They were named a Coach because they signed on with the company and were making money off of the products that I was buying from the company. They never were fully there to support me and answer questions that I may have. And in a lot of cases, they were not helpful or supportive at all during my journey. Coach Dennis is a genuine Coach and someone that without his support, guidance and encouragement (and humor), I would not have been as successful with this Keto Journey. He has also lived the keto lifestyle for 5 years, losing a total of 100 lbs and has been able to maintain it. I signed up for a zoom one on one with Coach prior to the start of my challenge. I was nervous as heck to talk to a complete stranger and was extremely insecure about what he would be thinking of me and how I looked to him (like I was with anyone new that I met at this time in my life). Yet at the same time, I was excited and hopeful that I may actually have someone who can help me and guide me through this process.
During our zoom conversation, he helped me set my macros. Macros are fat, protein and carbs. These are essential to have set correctly for you to make this lifestyle the most effective for you and your goals. During our conversation, Coach asked me "If I could choose one food to take with me to a deserted island, what would it be?" I said "That is a hard one cause I love cheeseburgers but no restaurant nor another person, can make a baked potato like I can. So definitely my baked potato!"
At this point in my life, I was making a baked potato for my husband and myself at least once a week. I would layer mine in cheese, butter and tons of sour cream with a seasoned skin. So good! The Irish Girl in me never thought I would be able to live a day without a baked potato or a potato of some kind. Oh how things have changed!
I don't miss those potatoes at all. I have not one craving for one and haven't bought a potato in over a year!
By the end of my conversation with Coach, I felt even more ready to begin this journey and more confident that I had made the right decision with going with Ketologic. I also decided that come January 4th, when my 30 day Ketologic challenge began, I would stop drinking. Not because I had a problem with drinking but because, to be honest, I was bored of the way it made me feel. I was bored with every night saying "what can we do tonight? Oh we can drink!" The sugar levels that were in the drinks I was having were not good and I wondered why I didn't feel well and lethargic every morning. As I learned more about the keto lifestyle, I realized the alcohol was part of that problem along with the starchy carbs I was putting in my body.
People ask me why I chose to do this lifestyle and not count calories. I tried the whole counting calories thing and it didn't work for me. I would end up not getting the right nutrients in my body and binge eating. Or I would lose the 5 lbs or the 10 lbs and say "I deserve these double cheeseburgers, large fries and a large coke from McDonalds" - self sabotage all the hard work that I had put in.
I am going to share another reason with you on why I decided to this lifestyle and to take control of my life!
My father.
Something I haven't been open with many people other than with a few close friends. My father and I don't have a relationship anymore. As a little girl, I loved my dad. I still love him, don't get me wrong. I just don't want the negative energy in my life anymore.
When I was little, he was someone I enjoyed listening to the oldies station (Big D 103 here in CT) as we went to go grab pizza on a Saturday night for the family. We played tennis together. During my high school years, he was usually at my tennis matches and state championships. But something happened with our relationship as I got older and I started to see someone I didn't really like. Someone I couldn't trust. He left my Mum one month after their 38th wedding anniversary. I was torn between my parents for a few years during the divorce and it really messed with my head and heart. My dad's health during this time - both mental and physical - went down the drain. He started to drink a lot more and would call me drunk on many occasions. A side of him that I don't like to think about and have gone to therapy about, especially when I started this journey. I had to work through the pain and anxiety that it was causing me. I also had to realize that people that caused negative energy like this in my life, I did not need in my life and would no longer accept them in my life.
A few months ago, my husband pointed out to me just how much I was starting to look like my Mum and not my father. When he told me this, a huge smile broke out on my face. I have always been told how much I look like my father and it always bothered me. I am so thankful that while doing what is best for me, I have also gotten told that I look more like my Mum!
In closing, on this pretty lengthy blog entry (hope you all are reading this to the end!) There is a song that Coach shared with our Keto Community (yes we have one of those and without that group, just like without Coach, I would be LOST without the friendships I have gained) and at least once a week I find myself listening to the song and realizing just how appropriate it is for me. This song is referenced in the title of this post and the quotes below is a part of the song that is my favorite part!
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
I am not perfect. I never will be perfect. I am open, now more so than ever before, to my faults and learning to grow from them. I am stronger because of this past year and the journey that I took and continue to take. I have learned how to meditate, how to put myself first, how to say NO to things and people that do not belong in my life. I am the happiest I have been in a long time and I know from here on out, I will continue to put myself first and life will only continue to be better! Keto and this lifestyle isn't for everyone but for me, this was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life for myself! If you are thinking about trying this out, please do not hesitate to reach out to me and I will help you, support you and encourage you any way that I possibly can!
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